My Secret Life as a Sex Addict: How I Repaired The Damage - Paperback

by Paulina Pantyleva (Author)

It was only the fourth day of the cruise and I was already on my seventh penis.

I met Jack at the pizza station by the pool. I went there to binge on pizza, partly because pizza is delicious and partly to punish my bad behaviors with food. I just wanted to engorge myself with cheese, crust, and soda like a bloated tick.

Jack, "Hey, I've seen you around. This pizza isn't the greatest..." After a few minutes of small talk, the next thing I know, I'm on my knees in the closest men's bathroom to the pizza station. No kissing, no foreplay, just c*ck in my mouth. " Thank you so much. I needed that so badly. I was going crazy hanging out with my wife and kids this entire cruise. I gotta go."

I'm not really sure how I find myself in these kinds of situations. It seems to only happen to me. Somehow I attract random men to do this. I don't even like to suck c*ck. Much less a guy I don't even know who has a wife and kids. Stranger C*ck is disgusting, so why did I suck it?! What the f*ck is wrong with me?

It is said that once the pain of the addiction is greater than the reward, that is when change occurs.

Sex addiction is a shameful topic. There are some books written for male sex addicts, but few from a female sex addict's point of view.

I am an American middle-class mom who works as a physician. I was smart enough to get a medical degree and to live a seemingly beautiful suburban soccer mom life. Until the age of 49, I lived with significant anger, resentment, shame, and guilt about myself and my behavior.

I couldn't live like this anymore, riding this sickening merry-go-round of binging, sexing, regretting, crying, and still acting out. I was turning 50 this year and had to fix my mental and physical health. I did not want to hit the milestone of age 50. Still a mess. This is my story.

This is a true story about a middle aged woman who has suffered with sex addiction and food addiction for most of her life. This book takes you on her life journey from the incidents that caused her to become a sex addict, stories of acting out her sexual compulsions, how she recovered from her sex addiction, and how she repaired the collateral damage to her relationships.