If you're sexy and you know it slap your hams - Paperback

If you're sexy and you know it slap your hams - Paperback

SKU: 9780648147589
Categories : Poetry
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Regular price$22.66

by Eloise Grills (Author)

If you're sexy and you know it slap your hams is a darkly funny, irreverently angry, and stupidly erotic contemplation of what it means to be a person, especially a sexy person, especially a sexy fat person, with supple, slappable hams.

This is a good book for bad people, no judgement. A good book of poems for people who like a procession of dogs' dicks, bodily fluids, naked old ladies, groundhogs, asses, nose picking, depression and bisexual innuendo. A poetry collection like nothing else but actually like a lot of other things. Pushing the sad into the funny and back into the sad again, this book provides a portrait of a young human coping with a cruel and indifferent universe, love, life, mental illness, celebrity culture; and smizing all the way down. This poetry collection is a fat wet tongue writhing with pleasure and agony in the mouth of a culture overflowing with bad behaviour, worse intentions and even worse, smellier saliva. This book is like chicken soup for the soul, except someone misheard and they used chicken poop instead. And now they have chicken poop instead of a soul. Eloise Grills tears her time-space continuum a new one, slapping our sumptuous hams over and over; so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the arse.


  • Shortlisted for the 2020 Mary Gilmore Award
Number of Pages: 114
Dimensions: 0.27 x 7 x 4.25 IN
Publication Date: July 20, 2019
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Categories : Poetry

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by Eloise Grills (Author)

If you're sexy and you know it slap your hams is a darkly funny, irreverently angry, and stupidly erotic contemplation of what it means to be a person, especially a sexy person, especially a sexy fat person, with supple, slappable hams.

This is a good book for bad people, no judgement. A good book of poems for people who like a procession of dogs' dicks, bodily fluids, naked old ladies, groundhogs, asses, nose picking, depression and bisexual innuendo. A poetry collection like nothing else but actually like a lot of other things. Pushing the sad into the funny and back into the sad again, this book provides a portrait of a young human coping with a cruel and indifferent universe, love, life, mental illness, celebrity culture; and smizing all the way down. This poetry collection is a fat wet tongue writhing with pleasure and agony in the mouth of a culture overflowing with bad behaviour, worse intentions and even worse, smellier saliva. This book is like chicken soup for the soul, except someone misheard and they used chicken poop instead. And now they have chicken poop instead of a soul. Eloise Grills tears her time-space continuum a new one, slapping our sumptuous hams over and over; so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the arse.


  • Shortlisted for the 2020 Mary Gilmore Award
Number of Pages: 114
Dimensions: 0.27 x 7 x 4.25 IN
Publication Date: July 20, 2019

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We deliver your parcel within 2–3 working days. As soon as your package has left our warehouse, you will receive a confirmation by email. This confirmation contains a tracking number that you can use to find out where your package is.

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We offer free returns within 30 days. All you have to do is fill out the return slip that you received in your package and stick the prepaid label on the package.Please note that it can take 2 weeks for us to process your return. We will do our best to complete this process as soon as possible.

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We provide a 2-year limited warranty, from the date of purchase for all our products.

If you believe you have received a defective product, or are experiencing any problems with your product, please contact us.

This warranty strictly does not cover damages that arose from negligence, misuse, wear and tear, or not in accordance with product instructions (dropping the product, etc.).

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